Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
