Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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