i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
