shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize