love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
