I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
