Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
