Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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