I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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