just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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