My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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