I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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