worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Everything about him screamed your future.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
