This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
