Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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