apparently the secret to your success is patron
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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