I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
