Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
