I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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