Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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