How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
