she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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