im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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