oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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