so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
