Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize