Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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