I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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