All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
