I must be too annoying 4 u.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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