using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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