did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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