Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
