Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
