i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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