you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
