I feel like I'm in dance class right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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