I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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