We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
