As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
