I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
