I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
