wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
