Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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