the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
