Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
