the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
