Dual....:-)
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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