can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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