Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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