Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
