you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
