She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
