Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
