he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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