it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
