i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
