shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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