Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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