Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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