Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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