You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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