oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to stop coming to work sober
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
